P.25III.SPIRITANDFLESH

        (III.灵与r0U)

        1.Themostobviousfactwhichphilosophersrefusetoseeisthatwehavegotabody.Tiredofseeingourmortalimperfectionsandoursavageinstinctsandimpulses,sometimesourpreacherswishthatweweremadelikeangels,andyetweareatatotallosstoimaginewhattheangels’lifewouldbelike.Weeithergivetheangelsabodyandashapelikeourown–exceptforapairofwings–orwedon’t.Itisinterestingthatthegeneralconceptionofanangelisstillthatofahumanbodywithapairofwings.Isometimesthinkthatitisanadvantageevenforangelstohaveabodywiththefivesenses.IfIweretobeanangel,Ishouldliketohaveaschool-girlcomplexion,buthowamIgoingtohaveaschool-girlcomplexionwithoutaskin?Istillshouldliketodrinkaglassoftomatojuiceoricedorangejuice,buthowamIgoingtoappreciateicedorangejuicewithouthavingthirst?AndhowamIgoingtoenjoyfood,whenIamincapableofhunger?Howwouldanangelpaintwithoutpigment,singwithoutthehearingofsounds,smellthefinemorningairwithoutanose?Howwouldheenjoytheimmensesatisfactionofscratchinganitch,ifhisskindoesn’titch?Andwhataterriblelossinthecapacityforhappinessthatwouldbe!Eitherwehavetohavebodiesandhaveallourbodilywantssatisfied,orelsewearepurespiritsandhavenosatisfactionsatall.Allsatisfactionsimplywant.

        1.(不知道是甚麽缘故,我们的哲学家总Ai否认一些再明显不过的事实,b如说:「我们是血和r0U造的。」大概是那些宣道者厌倦了人类永恒的缺憾,更希望我们是天使一般的存有,要我们舍弃原始的直觉与天X,可是我们当中啊,有谁知道天使是怎样的存有?我们不过依照自己的形象,给天使附加上我们欠缺而又渴求的──一双翅膀。有趣的是,直到现在,我们心目中的天使,还是长着人的样子,只是多了一双翅膀。有时我会想,要是天使拥有一具R0UT和五官,大概也是美善的。如果我是天使,我大概渴望拥有nV生白里透红的肌肤,可是没有R0UT,又哪来润泽细滑的肌肤?如果我是天使,想喝一瓶冰冻的柳丁汁或是一杯蕃茄汁,却发现我根本不需要进食,也不曾口渴,我要怎样才能因为冰冻果汁带来的刺激与舒缓而感到满足?当我不再觉得饿,我还能不能品嚐到各种食物的愉悦滋味?……天使的形象还能够成形吗?要是天使唱着圣诗,却没有耳朵;沉浸在清新的晨曦,却没有鼻子;被蚊子叮了,却不痛不痒,也不因抓痒而觉得舒解;官感带来的愉悦岂不是荡然无存?这到底是一种怎样的可布状态?於是,我了解到,我们面前其实只有两种选择:要不我们大方的承认身T,承认拥有感官的刺激和r0U慾愉悦;要不我们全然否定身T,舍弃各种感官愉悦,以纯粹的灵的方式过活。可是,我们所得到的一切愉悦和满足,说穿了,都是源自慾望。)

        2.Isometimesthinkwhataterriblepunishmentitwouldbeforaghostoranangeltohavenobody,tolookatastreamofcoolwaterandhavenofeettoplungeintoitandgetadelightfulcoolingsensationfromit,toseeadishofPekingofLongIslandduckandhavenotonguetotasteit,toseecrumpetsandhavenoteethtochewthem,toseethebelovedfacesofourdearonesandhavenoemotionstofeeltowardthem.Terriblysaditwouldbeifweshouldonedayreturntothisearthasghostsandmovesilentlyintoourchildren’sbedroom,toseeachildlyingthereinbedandhavenohandstofondlehimandnoarmstoclasphim,nochestforhiswarmthtopenetrateto,noroundhollowbetweencheekandshoulderforhimtonestleagainst,andnoearstohearhisvoice.

        2.(有时侯我会想:哲学家夺去了天使和鬼魂的R0UT存在,其实对这些灵来说,也是一种残酷的惩罚啊。没有R0UT的话,即使面前有一池清泉,也没有办法把脚伸进去,感受冰凉透心的冷泉水;即使面前有一碟北京烤鸭,却找不到舌头去品味;看着煎松饼,连咬牙切齿口水直流也做不到;跟曾经深Ai的人面对面,却不再觉得温热,当真是「纵使相逢应不识」。你能够想像──要是哪天我们成了鬼魂,悄悄地回到人间,去探看我们的孩子,他们睡在松软的床上,你想凑上前抚平他的额角发鬓,给他一个大力的拥抱,却发现你的手臂消失了,那片你曾经紧贴着他传递温暖的x膛,如今不复实在,而你的脸颊和他的肩膀之间只剩下一个巨大的空洞,也无法听到他呼呼大睡的鼻息──在那个当下,你们隔着永恒的距离,该是有多失望、多沮丧?)

        3.Adefenseoftheangels-without-bodiestheorywillbefoundtobemostvagueandunsatisfying.Suchadefendermightsay,“Ah,yes,butintheworldofspirit,wedon’tneedsuchsatisfactions.”“Butwhatinsteadhaveyougot?”Completesilence;orperhaps,“Void-Peace-Calm.”“Whatthendoyougainbyit?”“Absenceofworkandpainandsorrow.”Iadmitsuchaheavenhasatremendousattractiontogalleyslaves.SuchanegativeidealandconceptionofhappinessisdangerouslyneartoBuddhismandisultimatelytobetracedtoAsia(AsiaMinor,inthiscase)ratherthanEurope.

        3.(要是人们尝试为「无形天使」的理论辩护,他们终究是徒劳无功的,因为他们的解说不免落入含混虚无之中,使人失望。辩者也许会说:「啊,你的话都是对的,可是在JiNg神的层面看来,我们不需要考虑r0U慾愉悦。」「可是你拥有那个虚无的JiNg神,能够用来做些甚麽?」然後是一片静默,或者,他们会说:「能领会到虚无,得到内心和谐,还有平静。」「所以,我们要透过甚麽去获得这些必须依附在R0UT上的感受?」「透过从r0U身里解脱。从工作、痛楚和悲伤中解脱。」我必须承认,这种抛却r0U身的说法对渴求解放,仰望天国的古代奴隶极具x1引力,可是,这种透过舍弃得到快乐的消极的理想并不可取。我後来发觉,这种「无形天使」的危险思想并非来自欧洲,甚至可以追溯到流传在小亚细亚和亚洲之间的佛教教导。)

        4.Suchspeculationsarenecessarilyidle,butImayatleastpointoutthattheconceptofa“senselessspirit”isquiteunwarranted,sincewearecomingmoreandmoretofeelthattheuniverseitselfisasentientbeing.Perhapsmotionratherthanstandingstillwillbeacharacteristicofthespirit,andoneofthepleasuresofabodilessangelwillbetorevolvelikeaprotonaroundanucleusatthespeedoftwentyorthirtythousandrevolutionsasecond.Theremaybeakeendelightinthat,morefascinatingthanarideonaConeyIslandscenicrailway.Itwillcertainlybeakindofsensation.Orperhapsthebodilessangelwilldartlikelightorcosmicraysinetherealwavesaroundcurvedspaceattherateof183,000milespersecond.Theremuststillbespiritualpigmentsfortheangelstopaintandenjoysomeformofcreation,etherealvibrationsfortheangelstofeelastoneandsoundandcolor,andetherealbreezetobrushagainsttheangels’cheeks.Otherwisespirititselfwouldstagnatelikewaterinacesspool,orfeellikemenonahot,suffocatingsummerafternoonwithoutawhiffoffreshair.Theremuststillbemotionandemotion(inwhateverform)ifthereistobelife;certainlynotcompleterestandinsensitiveness.

        4.(以上我所提出的,虽然是凭空想像,可是我必须点明的是:这种「毫无感受的灵」是多余的,因为我们在学习大世界的知识时,益发能够T认,宇宙万物都是有情的,都能够有所感受。我这样想,要是动态的灵b虚静的灵要有个X得多,无形的天使也许会喜欢上像质子绕着核子一样,以每秒三万转的速度疯狂旋转;它们也许更Ai在通往纽约康尼岛公园的高速铁道上,欣赏沿途呼啸而过的秀丽景sE。那想当然是一种迷人的感觉。我在想,无形的天使或许以光速飞驰作乐,像以太电磁波一样的宇宙S线,以秒速十八万三千里冲到宇宙的尽头。容许我这样说,我们必须为无形的灵和天使着sE,附加快乐和愉悦,让他们有一个更清晰的形象;电磁波可以让无形的天使产生心灵感应,见证声sE,为无形的灵涂一抹胭脂,显得生动。否则,这灵只能是虚无乏力的,像止水一样沉寂;像炎夏里,人晒着大太yAn,却没有一丝微风,使人局促。我这样说,无非是要指出:一个有生命的形相,必须要在不断的活动之中,感受百般滋味,才能显得立T,一个全然静止、无感的生命,多说也是无益的。)

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